“What does your life stand for?”
The words my teacher spoke yesterday
“move through life fearless!”
More words that landed in my heart
“live a life of purpose”
Yes! Yes! Yes!
I have always prided myself on being bold.
Making choices that went against the norm.
Seemed Crazy to others.
I prided myself on going after my dreams.
Living my truth.
And having the courage to live from my heart.
But the last few years have beaten me down.
I have felt the ramifications of always living on the edge.
Being authentic, vulnerable and open.
Giving all of myself to the process of creating.
I felt hurt, sad, and dismay
And felt myself close.
And yet this shadow
Being stuck, guarded and secluded in my practice
Has been the biggest expression of light!
I have moments of such immense bliss in the silence.
I want to share it with others
and yet I have felt I have to place to share.
I have felt myself wanting to expand
to open more
to take more risks
to let go of fear completely
to have a voice
to stop being so safe
But fear comes in and I want to go back
I want to go back to a job that feels safe
I want to go back to the security of a paycheck
I want to go back to the norm
But when I think of doing that
my heart breaks and my spirit dwindles
So I pick myself up
I come to my practice
I teach in ways that are different
That may fail, that may be rejected.
But this is where joy exists.
When I am sharing the teachings of a practice I love.
So I come back to the words of my teacher
“What does your life stand for”
“Live a life of purpose and fearlesness”
Steadfast presence, fierce presence
and surrendering all of it
Love gratitude and deep humility in this moment.
Never give up on your dreams and letting the creation of the universe flow through you