Fear and Love

I woke up with a jolt this morning at 4 a.m.
The anxiety gripping me
Intense fear, a visseral expereince
No reason in sight

In the past I wasn’t aware of this energy
I kept myself too busy
Too checked out
And I blamed the other for what was inside of me

As much as I still at times want to blame or push away
I allow myself to stay
To know that it will pass
And that nothing is wrong

So this morning, despite the fear, I got up and dove into practice
Puja, Breath, Meditation, Kriya and Movement
2 hours later there was arelease
An opening and a kowing that everything is okay

The mind plays crazy tricks on us
And the more we sit with the self the more we notice
It may seem at times that we are getting “worse”
But it is just a clearing out of what was already there

I know that on the other side of fear is love, compassion and grace
I’ve expereinced it multiple times
But in moments I forget
That is why we come together in community, sangha

To remind each other that we aren’t alone
That love is underneath the surface of everything
And to never abandon the self in moments such as these

Yoga is the path to liberation, freedom and self mastery
And that journey can sometimes feel like a battle
But if we stay the course we realize that it’s all a play
And if we surrender, we will be held.....

So, In this moment, on the other side of the fire I sit
Working on my 300 hr TT manual with such joy
A sense of humility and gratitude for this practice, the teachings, and this life.

Senidng you love and know that if you’re ever caught in the grips of fear
Come to your breath, know that you aren’t alone, and always reach out
For love is always there if you allow it to be