ANGER, our KIDS and the importance of BEING WITH

My son, like all of us, has many emotions

But they come out in two main ways

Pure joy and Intense anger

 

It has always been this way

Since he was very young

The anger piece has been a huge challenge for me, 

but also one of my greatest teachers

 

You see, I grew up surrounded by anger

And I hated it, didn’t know how to deal with it

So I ran away as quickly as I could when I saw it in myelf or the other. 

 

But shoving it down didn’t really work

It just showed up in destructive ways

Violent acts to the self mainly

 

But having my son forced me to look anger in the eyes

Forced me to find a way to be with it

And bring the thunder to the surface

 

So last night when my sons anger was rising

I held steady and stayed

 

In the past I would have checked out

Been angry that he was angry

And let the mind take over with questions such as….

 

“why do I have a son that’s angry

what am I doing wrong,

I don’t want to be here  

 

But I have learned to be with

And after the fury ended 

The truth came out

 

He told me how he was anxious all the time

Stressed out and worried about multiple things

And even when there was nothing to worry about, the worry persisted

 

Such a sweet moment of connection

To truly see him 

And what was underneath the surface

 

The more I can be with my own anger

The more I can be with his

And the gift in that is that it won’t go underground and he will be able to BE WITH in a healthy way.