It’s not fair….
My body screams.
My mind screams.
My heart is hurt
My heart is confused
My heart doesn’t understand.
My adult self doesn’t want to be an adult.
My childlike self wants to take over.
And say…..It’s not fair.
The funny thing is, the “anger” is at no one in particular
And yet if I look closer, directed soley at the self.
It’s been awhile since I felt this way.
And yet it came up strong yesterday.
Not in a thought, an acition or a feeling.
More of an energy in the body.
All I wanted was for it to go away.
To feel light and happy again.
For isn’t that the “right” way to feel, especially if we are on the yogic path.
But I realize that’s its showing up to be seen, to be heard, to be understood and ultimately integrated.
Recognizing that it isn’t “better than” when we are experiencing joy.
And it isn’t “less than” when we are experiencing pain or sadness.
Both energies are equally valuable
Maybe not equally preferable, but equally valuable on our journey toward wholeness
This is my greatest lesson lately.
To not reject the self when I am in a “less preferable” experience
To not fight it or make it bad or wrong.
Rather to love, love, love no matter what is arising on the surface.
So no matter what you are feeling today I invite you to own it - yes, own it - no matter what it is and it is through that that you will come out the other side!!!