I received some photos from a friend taken of me in India this past November.
All I could see was wrinkles, the word “ugly” crossed my mind.
So much fear in knowing this will only continue as the years pass.
I’ve never been one to worry too much about my looks
Yes, the usual worry, but not the intense fear that has come up in recent years
Is it because I’m a woman?
Is it because I’m single?
Is it because of my vritties?
Is it because I still carry self hatred?
The reason doesn’t matter.
What fascinates me is the intensity of fear;
So much identification to the body, even though I know what truly matters is the inner.
So, I looked at the pictures again.
I saw brightness in the eyes, a smile that radiated joy, And a spirit that was evolving.
I softened, let go of the judgment and was able to embrace the little girl who stood in fear.
I acknowledge the shadow,
I open to the light knowing fear will come back
And continuing to move toward grace, acceptance & love;
for I know that this journey is a gift.
*I hesitated to share this - Would others think I'm self-absorbed? Would others think I'm trying to get attention? I chose to share because as we share we expand. I know aging is something I"m meant to talk about.